5 ways to avoid STRESS and ANXIETY in your cat

Today I want to talk with you about expectations that we might have when it comes to our cats. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what our cats might be feeling while living with us in our apartment and trying to follow our daily schedule and our lifestyle. I feel that when people bring home a new kitty, we often just expect a cat to be a certain way, without trying to understand what they would like and how they’re wired to function and experience life, what needs they might have that we might be forgetting about or misinterpreting as “bad behavior”. I know I’m certainly not perfect and I’m learning so much from my cats and kitties I meet during volunteering. I know I used to do things wrong and probably still doing some things wrong, according to our cats. But I’m here on a mission to understand cats better, and to make sure that they can be cats in our human environment and within our human lifestyle.

If you prefer listening vs reading, check out my YouTube video on this topic.

So let’s talk about 5 common expectations that cat parents might have towards their cats.

Expectation #1: 

Living in our "human box"

What I mean by it is that when we bring home a cat, we ask them to live in a somewhat unnatural environment for them. We offer them safety, companionship and care in return, so it seems like a reasonable agreement, but I think it’s a good idea to try to make our home as comfortable as possible for our feline friends and their needs.

Cats are connected to nature and their wild side even though some of them have never EVER been outside. Some of us get their cats from breeders, while others rescue cats from the streets or adopt from animal shelters. Of course, those cats who were born outside are much more connected to nature than those who were born indoors, but I’ve never seen a cat who’s not curious about those birds or bugs flying outside. As I mentioned in my previous videos, cats still have pretty much the same DNA as their wild ancestors, so they absolutely need to perform certain behaviors like hunting, climbing trees, scratching and marking, running long distances, eating multiple times a day, etc. They’re crepuscular creatures, which means they’re most active at dusk and dawn, while us humans are usually sleepy and relaxed during those hours.

Of course, I’m not saying that keeping your cat indoors is a bad thing, not at all! The world outside is a harsh and dangerous place for small creatures like cats, and let’s not forget that they’re both the hunter and the prey! I do believe it’s better to keep your cats indoors, BUT we need to make sure that our environment is good for them, too. And the key words here are Environmental Enrichment. If you have a chance to make a catio for your cats – that’s awesome! If not, and if you live in a small apartment, you can still create a nice, stimulating, safe and species-appropriate space for your cat. I’ll be making a video about Environmental Enrichment soon, so make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you don’t want to miss it, but for now I’ll just give you a few ideas on how to catify your home:

• High perches

• Cat trees

• Multiple scratching posts and pads with various materials

• Windowsill perches

• Cat TV

• Bird feeder outside your window

• Water fountains

• Private and quiet places for resting

• Food puzzles

• Regular interactive play time

• Growing fresh grass and catnip

• And so many more!

Expectation number 2: 

Using a dirty litter box

Let me ask you a question: how often do you scoop your cat’s litter box? And how often do you empty the old litter and wash the box? If you scoop twice a day and do a full wash twice a month – you’re the best cat parent and deserve a gold medal! 🎉

I know I am not always perfect, but there are two things that keep me motivated. First is the knowledge that cats have a super powerful sense of smell, which is 14 times stronger than us humans. So if I slightly feel the smell from the litter box, it's probably a nightmare for my cats when they go inside!

So that's number one, and number two is just imagining this situation:

Close your eyes and pretend that you're in the forest, and you really need to use the bathroom. You look to your right and voila - there's a portable toilet right in front of you! You step closer and you see that it's smelly, dirty and absolutely disgusting. Now the question is - would you go in? Now remember, you really really need to go, and there's this toilet right here, but it's really filthy. What would you do? Would you go inside, or would you rather find another place to do your business? This is something that some cats face every single day if we don't scoop their litter boxes. Of course, some cats still go to a dirty letter box, but are they really enjoying this? Would you want to go to that dirty toilet in the woods?

I have another example for you. If you’re in a public restroom and someone didn’t flush after themselves, would you go in that cabby or wait for another, cleaner one to open?

I know that cats don't experience everything like we do. As I mentioned before, their sense of smell is 14 times stronger than ours, and there are a lot of other differences of how we experience things, but sometimes just trying to put myself in my cat’s shoes helps me see the situation from their perspective.

Expectation number 3: 

Eating on a HUMAN schedule

In the wild, a cat can eat 10-15 small meals a day, this is just how their body works on genetic level. They hunt small prey: sometimes they catch it, sometimes they don’t, and after all that hunting they usually get multiple small meals throughout a day. Of course, I’m not suggesting to feed your cat 10 times a day, but I’d aim for 4-5 small meals. If you work, you can use an automated feeder with a timer to make sure your cat has something to snack on while you’re away. It could be two large meals: one in the morning and one in the evening + two snack times throughout the day. A lot depends on your kitty, of course. Some cats eat big portions while others eat very little in one setting, so they just won’t be happy with large portions twice a day, and they simply won’t get enough calories.

Another thing to consider is that cats generally like to eat early in the morning or sometimes at night. Most of us probably know about their midnight shenanigans and zoomies, I sure do! This happens because they’re most active during dusk and dawn, as I mentioned before, so that’s when they’re genetically wired to have their food. If you’re a lucky parent of a cat who is hungry like a wolf at 3AM, my best advice to you is to get an automated feeder, this will literally save your life! And your cat’s!

Expectation number 4: 

Being friendly with our friends and guests

If your cat genuinely enjoys hanging out with your friends when they stop by – that’s awesome! But what about cats who are timid or shy and just want nothing to do with strangers? First of all, we need to understand that people who come to your home to hang out are YOUR friends, not your cat’s. Your cat doesn’t have to like them and doesn’t have to spend time with them if they don’t want to. We always need to give them a choice. And if they don’t like to be out and about when other people are visiting, make sure they have a nice safe area in your home where they would feel comfortable and undisturbed.

Talk to your friends and explain that your kitty is shy and doesn’t like when strangers try to touch him or her. Some people still think that cats are just like small dogs who usually love interacting with people, but that’s not always the case! So be in advocate for your cat and if you have a shy one, make sure your friends know it and respect your cats personality, their choices and boundaries. This way when you have guests visiting, both you and your cat can have a good time, even if it means you’re not having a good time together.

Expectation number 5: 

Being a certain way (playful, affectionate, adventurous, etc.)

Each cat has a unique personality and rather than trying to change it, I think it’s more fun and rewarding to get to know the real cat. We can change some behaviors with clicker training, but a cat’s personality is usually strong, and it usually blossoms when they feel safe and content. It’s hard to see a true personality of a cat if they’re not comfortable or not feeling safe in their environment, and in this case it’s important to find stress factors and work on them.

What if you’re looking for a specific type of a cat?

Maybe you want to go on adventures with your cat, or maybe you just want to be able to cuddle with them, or maybe you want to play and run around the house with your cat! If you have certain characteristics that you're looking for in a cat, I highly recommend going to your local animal shelter and adopting an adult cat with those characteristics, because when we adopt or buy a kitten, it's somewhat unpredictable what their personality might be in the future, since they're still growing and their personality is still shaping and forming. By adopting an adult cat, you pretty much see what they are and if you are a good match. Sometimes you need a week or two to see the real personality of a kitty, as shelter environment doesn’t always allow an animal to shine. In that case you can ask if your local animal shelter does “foster-to-adopt”, this way you can foster a kitty for a couple weeks before you commit to adopting!

This is all for today! Thank you so much for reading, as always. Please share this article with your friends and other cat parents 🐱

~ Vani 🐚